Let’s be honest, ladies. We have all, at some point, had a mental wrestling match with that little voice in our heads—the one that whispers, “You’re not thin enough,” “You’re a hot mess,” “Your hair is a disaster,” or “Why do your arms do that when you wave?” Where did this critic come from? We all carry subconscious beliefs that we base all our thoughts, decisions and actions on. They were engrained by our childhood experiences, parents and family in our inner circle, and our environment. These beliefs run on auto pilots until we acknowledge and change them. Are you looking for more joy, confidence or to feel good about the reflection you see?
Well, I say it’s time to send that critical voice packing! Permanently.
We’ve spent far too long letting subconscious beliefs about our image dictate how we feel about ourselves. And guess what? Those beliefs are often total nonsense. Beliefs that no longer serve us. Here are just five lies that we tell ourselves, let’s rip them out at the roots and replace them with some solid truths.
1. The “I Must Look Perfect” Myth
Somewhere along the way, we were sold the idea that beauty = perfection. Who sold it to us? Probably the same marketing wizards who decided low-rise jeans were a good idea (we’re still recovering from that one) or the ‘fake it until you make it’ mantra.
Truth: Real beauty? It’s in the quirks and your uniqueness. The laugh lines that prove you’ve lived. The stretch marks that show your body made a whole human. The grace to know we are not perfect. The grace to know that it’s okay. Discover your body type and learn to dress with what flatters your unique assets and gifts.
2. The “I Can’t Wear That” Lie
Ever stop yourself from wearing a bold dress, or bright lipstick because you thought it was "too much"? That’s a belief leftover from a world that taught us to shrink—physically and emotionally.
Truth: When you are wearing the right color palette, your inner beauty shines. When you create a harmonious balanced look your light shines to the world. Wear the dress. Rock your color. Strut like you’re on a runway, even if you’re just heading to Target. Live life confident.
3. The “I’ll Be Happy When…” Trap
Raise your hand if you’ve ever said, “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds” or “I’ll take more pictures of myself when my skin clears up.” (Spoiler alert: The goalposts will always move.) “I’ll be…. (fill in the blank) when the kids are….” When we learn that we are a work in progress, we give ourselves permission to find joy now. God doesn’t promise us tomorrow.
Truth: Happiness doesn’t live at the finish line of any goal or any “when..” scenario. It’s here, right now. The more you embrace yourself as you are, the less power that inner critic has and the more joy in the moment you will experience.
4. The “Other Women Have It Figured Out” Illusion
Every find yourself playing the comparison game? Or scrolling through social media and think, “Wow, she has it all together”? Let me let you in on a secret: She doesn’t. Nobody does. Not even that influencer with flawless skin and an always perfect photos in amazing rooms (She probably shoved the mess into a closet – or at least off camera first)
Truth: Comparison is the thief of your joy. Don’t compare your everyday life to someone else’s highlight reel. You have your own highlights – focus on those and count the blessings with an attitude of gratitude. If you don’t think you have any – ask a trusted friend they will remind you.
5. The “Aging is the Enemy” Nonsense
Anti-aging is all the rage. I mean- who wants to look old. But Wrinkles? They’re actually proof of a life well-lived. Gray hairs? A crown of wisdom. Society has spent way too much time making women fear aging, while simultaneously giving men the “silver fox” treatment – a ‘distinguished look.’ Enough of that double standard! I’m glad more and more women are embracing their gray.
Truth: You are evolving, not expiring. Have a growth mindset and own it. Every stage of life brings a new kind of beauty—don’t miss out by worrying about the last one! Do not convince yourself that you are ‘getting old’ and give up on your appearance. Your image contributes to how you feel! Do you dress how you feel or feel how you dress? Continue to step it up because you are worthy and important.
So, What’s Next?
It’s time to flip the script. Start replacing those limiting beliefs with empowering ones. Take the picture. Wear that swimsuit. Step out of your comfort zone because God has a plan for you! Be boldly, unapologetically you. You are God’s masterpiece.
Let’s be real: You’re kind of amazing!
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